Bicycle advocacy is serious business but, every now and then, it’s important to look at the lighter side of life. Last year we ran a post called Bicycling is Funny. Here’s a second rendition with some new bicycle jokes.
Q. When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
A. When it turns into a driveway.
Q. What’s gray, has two wheels and weighs 4 tons?
A. An elephant on a bicycle.
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his equally nerdy friend rode up on cool new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, “Where did you get such a nice bike?” The second nerd replied, “I was walking home minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want!'”
The second nerd nodded approvingly, “Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”
Q. What do you get when you cross a chemical with a bicycle?
A. Bike carbonate of soda.
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that was biting people’s arms off? It was a vicious cycle!
You know you’re a bike geek when a Power Bar tastes better than a Snickers bar!
Q. A man lay dead in a room with 51 bicycles. What happened?
A. He cheated at poker. The bicycles are on his deck of cards.
Cyclist dies and goes to heaven. St Peter greets him at the gate and the cyclist asks if there are bikes in heaven. “Of course,” St Peter replies, “and we can have one custom-made for you.” Just then, another biker flies by them on a custom gold bike, a total blur. “Wow!” says the cyclist, “That must be Lance Armstrong!!” “No,” sighs St Peter, “that’s just God. He thinks he’s Lance.”
Q. What did one bike wheel say to the other one?
A. Was that you who spoke to me?
A tired cyclist decided to hitch a ride home. A guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride but the bike wouldn’t fit in the car. The driver got some rope out of the trunk and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider: “If I go too fast, ring your bell and I’ll slow down.”
Everything went well until another sports car blew past them. The driver forgot all about the cyclist and put his foot down. A short distance down the road, they hammered through a speed trap.
The cop with the radar gun and radioed ahead that he had 2 sports cars heading his way at over 150 mph. He then relayed, “and you’re not going to believe this, but there’s a cyclist behind them ringing his bell to pass!”
Okay, now it’s your turn to share a bicycle joke with us!